David Bailey is fed up with fashion photography. “D’you know,” he rages, “any model over the age of 23 has to be touched up these days. Twenty-three? It’s f***ing ridiculous but that’s what you have to do for American Vogue and it’s getting to be the same over here.”
British fashion photography has lost its edge, he reckons. “They want shoots that look like a shop window in Knightsbridge. They always have the same kind of dead-looking girls. It isn’t interesting and the girls aren’t interesting. Because they aren’t girls. They’re androids. Airbrushed and cleaned up and not real. And you can’t tell any more who took the photographs. You used to be able to tell; there was character to the pictures. You could tell this was a [Helmut] Newton or that was a Beaton or a Horst or whatever. A Bailey woman has a distinct look. A Bailey woman is a real woman of flesh and blood and sex.”
I need to lighten up, not the least because for the past day workmen have been pounding and sawing away upstairs like it’s an endless hallway of doors and angry door-bangers. It sounds like a hoard of lumberjacks with power saws chasing a T-Rex through a Home Depot. Can’t a girl scan in peace? So here’s something for ya… Yes, it’s already happened: The Squirrelizer.
And some very silly photos. Click to go to the source… but actually, you probably don’t want to click.
Notice the expressions on the pig’s face and the woman’s face. Har har. (Thanks to Adrian for the non-fail animals!)